summer 2010

i have to say i have some of the bestest friends in the world. throwing me an going away party, with every single thing that i could have imagined...not easy. leaving is always bittersweet for me. i mean i want to go back to the greatest city ever, but im really gonna miss my friends here at home. these are the kids i grew up with. the kids who have seen me and my best and worst. the kids who know me better than i know myself. i love them. they really know how to help me start with my best foot forward.
and even my friends who weren't there, i love you guys too. it's wonderful knowing i have friends at both home and school who love me soo fucking much. you know how to cheer me up and make me laugh and do the little things that just brighten up my day. i really do love you all. and im soo glad i have you guys in my life. i wouldn't be the person i am today, without each and every single one of you.
summer 2010 was great, but now it's time for me to start a new chapter of my life...sophomore year fall semester. i ended the summer on the best note possible, but all good things come to an end. soon ill be back in class listening to lecture, studying in the library, and being my coffee addict self. today is my last day in hoco. so goodbye hoco and hello 10003...aka new york city.


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James.

so last night i was at a party. and this one kid is obsessed with me, id rather not give names because who knows, he might be reading this thing. before the party i told James to make sure i don't do anything with the kid. and if i lead him on, then we would make out (we being James and i). anyhow. i did not wanna get with the kid, he did not feel the same way. so i told my friend James to keep an eye on me so i don't do anything stupid, like lead the guy on. anyhow. the kid was talking to me and i was like i can't do this so i walked away. and James saw all of this happen and we made out, so the kid would get the idea. he didn't, instead he wanted to fight James.



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oh dear. talk about FML

so im atheist, for those that don't know. and for those that do know, it's pretty obvious why. right? yeah i think so. make that i know so. anyhow. last night i was out a little late...well to be honest, very late. i came home around three in the morning. and i was up by 11, but at that time my parents were like we're gonna go to gurdwara...sikh's place of worship. and i was hungover...they didn't know that, thankfully. so i went there hungover and it was fucking torture. sitting down in some place with people singing and everything being about god PLUS my me + my atheist ass + me hungover...aka not a fucking good idea. anyway. i survived. anyway. i have two days left in the HoCo. im really gonna miss these house parties and these kids.


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Patriots vs. Falcons

one day this week i can't remember which day, i was at a party and made a song. please note i was very very drunk. we were all watching the Patriots and Falcons game. and i was taking a shot for every time the Falcons scored, one shot for field goals and two for touchdowns. that was not getting me drunk fast enough lol. the final score was like 28-9 Patriots....AKA three shots. so during the game some friends and i decided to start up some tequila pong. boy was that fun. and i was doing that Rebecca texted me and i didn't have my phone. so James was talking to her. and who knows what the fuck he said to her.
all i have to say is im so glad it's football season!



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she packed my BRAIN!

i've been a horrible blogger lately. and i mean really horrible. im sorry, but im getting caught up with seeing everyone before i go back to school. last night Lisa came over and im positive right when she came, she packed my fucking brain. so at first we were just talking but then i went crazy...make that WE went crazy. and when Lisa + Priya + crazy happens....all you can do is fucking hope that we don't pull any of our shenanigans. but obviously it's us...we are gonna pull our shenanigans. anyway. we made this rap song that's just really fucking awesome. if you wanna see it add me on facebook. and obviously we took like a bunch of pictures. we're picture people. haha. anyway. i added all this stuff on to facebook. and after she left my mom asked me "what did you pack?" (Lisa was supposed to help me pack, but clearly that did not happen.) before i answered she saw that i was looking at a video on facebook. and it was the one of me that Lisa recorded. and she asked, "what did you pack?! your BRAIN?"
turns out i really did pack my fucking brain.
so i was up till like three in the morning doing fucking laundry. and i got ONE fucking load done. ONE! that's right. just ONE! first i put a load in at like midnight. or something around then. and when it finished i realized i didn't put any detergent in it because we didn't have any in the house, they were in the garage! so i had to re-do that fucking load. and then....when it finished again i put it in the dryer and it took two fucking hours for the fucking shit to fucking dry because i forgot to take out the goddamn motherfucking lint!
i really did pack my brain.



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Brian.

so yesterday Brian came over. and we talked about every single thing ever possible. we talked about how him and Natalie are done. and we talked ALOT about Rebecca. ooo and i straightened his hair. hahaha. and we just talked for like hours. and im pretty sure he's officially gonna visit me over labor day weekend. and then we talked a lot about football. the steelers suck. suck like major major major cock. FUCK THE STEELERS! we talked about my Atlantic City story. and i heard quite a few of drunk Brian stories. Brian and Rebecca really need to hook up. like for real. Geoffery and i have it all figured out. we're just gonna lose them on accident. hahaha. it will be awesome. like so epic. i can just picture it. Geoffery and i were also talking about how their kids would look! like seriously...talk about gorgeous kids.



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Atlantic City part II

ive been a HORRIBLE blogger for the past few days. but i have a legit reason, ATLANTIC CITY!!!! haha yes i went again. and boy do i have a story for you all. so remember that guy at the bar from last time. well this time i ran into him AGAIN! his name is Dave by the way lol. and turned out that he didn't "go for me" because i was texting Brian for awhile and he thought that Brian was my boytoy. but i immediately set him straight on that. we started talking and such and i didn't really drink that much on Saturday night. just a few shots. and then i totally tapped that shit. and ohhh myyy goddd. that was like the best sex that i have EVER had. i mean seriously. sooo fucking good. he is how all future fuck buddies will be measured. i was in his room that night until about five in the fucking morning. haha. then i headed back to my room. on Sunday i hung out with my mom during the day, shopping of course, and then ate dinner with the family. that night. omg. we got uber drunk. i had five dirty bananas in five minutes. then a rum screwdriver. and then four patrons. we were both really drunk by this point. so we were trying to sober up before fucking again. lol. so we decided to play a little and i have no clue what it is called, but we played that game where you have a ball and then throw it on the little round thing and you guess the number. it was pretty fun and we were getting cheap drinks so the sobering up wasn't working too well. anyhow. that night...talk about amazing sex. like the best you have ever had. soo soo soo good.
turns out that he goes to Duke and is a graduate student in mechanical engineering. and he's anti-social networking sites...aka facebook. and he's a total asshole...which is my type because they are good in bed...but i didn't know that this good was possible. anyway. he's an ass and smart...sooo great. and totally turns me on.
in the end it was a great trip.


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Mike.

there are some people in your life who you meet and then you realize how amazing they are. you realize it a day late and a dollar short. there is one guy i know who i really respect. most guys that i know sleep around which i don't mind at all, but this guy is pretty awesome. he only slept with one girl which i think is pretty amazing. im sure he has had his chances but just refused. he's really attractive. but i just think that is really sweet. he is so sweet its unbelievable. he cares so much about others and likes to put his friends before him, which i respect so much. he is also one of the funniest people i know. and always knows how to put a smile on my face. no matter how fucked up my day is he knows how to get my smile out. and not just me, anyone and everyone. and damn i love him. im really gonna miss not seeing him at NYU. so Mike im not sure whether or not you read this, and im pretty sure you don't but if you do, just know how much i love and respect you. you are truly a wonderful and any girl is lucky to be with you.



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Brian the fucking motherfucker.

fucking Brian. hes such a fucking motherfucker! he was supposed to come over today, but since i am typing this know, i think you all know he is not here and did not come over today. he isn't here because his mom found a 30 in his room and got pissed as fuck. anyway. i did see Lisa today which was very nice. got i miss her and love her. and tomorrow is my last day of work for the summer. =[. i love work....for the most part that is. so ill have more time to see everyone. i can't wait till i get up to new york city!! only like 12 days left!


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Paul.

today i hung out with Paul. for those that don't know i fucking love Paul. and i hadn't seen him since like october maybe november. damn i missed him being in my life. and so far the no drinking is going well. anyway. Paul and i talked about everything fucking possible. his hookups, my hookups, and pretty much everything in between. such a fucking awesome kid.



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day four.

i don't remember if i mentioned this. but since friday night/saturday morning i have not had a single drink. Rebecca left for Canada on Saturday and i told her i wouldn't get drunk until she got back. and today is day four. and so far i am successful. it hasn't been that hard because every night im hanging out with my friends so it's really working out. =]



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Katie time

today i hung out with my girl Katie. it was mad fun. we just sat and talked and watched friends and then decided at 10 to watch Avatar. it was the first time for both her and me. and also her sister Jenny. and for those that don't know, that is one long ass movie. it was decent. not the greatest not the worst, but decent. although the special effects were extremely extremely extremely well done. anyway. it was just really nice catching up with her and her family.



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drunk driving.

if there is one thing in the world i hate, that would be drunk drivers. i fucking hate them. and people who drive drunk need to learn some shit. i've had sooo many friends die too young because of this ridiculous shit. and it's to the point where i can't fucking deal with it.
when i was 14 my best friend and her family were coming to visit my family and me. she never made it to me. at fucking 11:30 in the goddamn motherfucking morning someone was drunk and didn't stop at the red light and hit my best friends car head on. all four of them passed away. that was the worst time of my life.
i don't have any respect for people that drink and drive. none whatsoever. they need to learn something. they themselves don't need to do something, but they should learn from some other person's experience(s).
it's never too late to change.


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Steve Dankos.

Steven Joseph Dankos. i know you're looking down at the world from where you are. you're in a better place. today i saw this movie, Charlie St. Cloud, and it really reminded me of you. during the entire movie i was thinking about you and how sometimes life just doesn't do justice. Steve, i miss you soo much. i miss seeing you at parties and chilling with you and how you made everyone laugh soo soo soo much. you're really missed. im so glad i had the opportunity to meet and know you. you were and are one of the nicest guys out there. we had many good times. damn i wished you had called me that awful night. you know i would have come to you so fast. i love you and miss you so much.
you're forever loved and always in our hearts.
R.I.P.


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stuff

Rebecca is leaving my ass again!!!!! what the fuck. i know right. it's ridic. she went to cancun for two weeks and now this. this is unacceptable. but anyway. i have made a deal with myself. from tomorrow to next saturday i will not get drunk. today is not the same case. today im going all out. woohoo. party party party. ohh and im soo fucking kicking Brian's ass. i can't deal with him right now. ughh. he's being a motherfucker. he won't visit me in nyc =[. but hopefully ill convince him.


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last night

yesterday i talked to Rebecca for a long while. and i also texted drunk Brian. god i fucking love drunk Brian. we were talking about him visiting me and i also told him me and Rebecca were talking about him and this is what he said "no bus is good haha reeally what are you guys talking about and im much better in a swim suit" someone wants to get with Rebecca and its gonna fucking happen.


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my parents

i love getting stuff in the mail. it's like the best thing ever. during my first year at school, my parents always sent me care packages. they were the best things ever. i got sent Coach bags, food, and so much other stuff. i love their care packages. there is just something soo personal about them. they mean so much to me. and i know i probably don't say it enough, but i love my parents and everything that they have done for me. they've sacrificed a lot for me, and im soo thankful for that. they have given me everything that i have ever needed. they are the most amazing people ever fucking possible. and i am soo thankful for them.



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Atlantic City

so im back from Atlantic City now. and boy do i have a story for you lovely people. my family and i were staying in Showboat. anyway. it was like ten and i was tired from a whole day of shopping with my mom...although we didn't really buy anything. anyway. so we were back in the hotel room at like ten. and i was like im going to sleep. and my mom wasn't tired so she was like well if you're going to sleep then do you mind if i go down and play a little. and i was like no that's fine! anyway. she left. and then i got un-tired. so i was like maybe i'll go down to the bar, which was in the casino. and i did. and the drinks were two bucks. so i got like four poppers. for those who are unfamiliar with this term, it's tequila and 7up. and this guy was sitting next to me. really cute by the way. like uber uber uber cute. and i wasn't just thinking that because i was drunk. lol. we started talking and he was like im gonna buy you three of my drinks. and i was like what's your drank. he said dirty bananas! and i was like omg omg omg! that is like by best friend, Brian's drank!! so i texted Brian to tell him. anyway. i wanted to take a picture with this guy. the bartender saw me take my camera out, and was like don't even try to miss. and i was like what?!?!?! and he was like no pictures. you're not allowed to take pictures in the actual casino part because of card counting and what not. anyway i was flipping shit. i was like why the fuck can't i take a picture with the guy i love and i gave him a kiss on the cheek. and the bartender was like no. and then i really flipped shit. and the bartender was damn girl stop it's not my rule! and he gave me three poppers on the house! in the end it was a pretty damn good vacation!!!



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Panera Bread

right now im blogging on the road to Atlantic City. it's pretty boring. make that very boring. im sitting in Panera Bread. and doing this. and i must add their tomato, basil, and mozzarella salad, is fucking delicious. like sooo fucking good. you all need to get some. oo and their Mediterranean Veggie Sandwich.....sooo fucking good too. like i could eat both of them every single fucking day. ooo for breakfast today i had a brownie sundae. yes i was soooo unhealthy today. it's pretty ridic. i am not even planning on going to the gym while im on this mini vacation. but i will be walking a lot. there are really nice outlets, including COACH!!! ahahhaha. anyway. till im back i love you all mucho.


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wow.

so im getting really bad with posting lately. there is literally nothing going on in my life. just work and chem and partying. but on that note ill tell you all what i did last night. so im going away for the weekend and monday and so we were having a small party. and my friends were like since there are only ten or eleven of us whatever we don't finish we'll use it for the party tonight, which i will not be at. and i was like hell no. we gonna finish this shit because im not gonna be there tomorrow. some how ten of us finished three bottles of wine, two of the big bottles of vodka, and a bottle of malibu. i have no clue how.



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Chem Chem Chem Chem Chem

today was the most fucking boring fucking day ever fucking possible. although that was completely my fault, it still sucked. so im taking notes on chem II just so that way in the fall i can concentrate on physics. and this stuff isn't too bad. that is probably because i have done it all in ap chemistry. but that is not the point. today i took notes on one entire fucking chapter. and these chapters aren't short or anything, they are 40 to 50 pages long. long and intense. anyway. im hoping i can get out of study mode and into party party party mode tonight. well more like in less than an hour because my friends are picking me up at 9. so that is all for now.



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Inception

for those who have not seen Inception, go see it. like right now if you can. it is like no other movie. completely original. and if you don't like movies that mess with your mind, then just stare at Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. i mean they are just gorgeous. but no, seriously. the movie is great. i would try to explain it, but my small head is unable to do that. it is a thinking movie. but soooo soooo soooo good. so go see it!



☮ hope &hearts

phone!

i figure i should talk about some of what happened last friday night. so i was at this party and my friend, James thought it would be funny to drop my phone into the pool. so he stole my phone and put it in his pocket which did not have his phone. the idiot took out a phone when he got to the pool...it wasn't my phone, it was his! so im glad to say the motherfucker had to get a new phone and i am very very happy with mine.



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Britney Spears

so im sorry i haven't blogged in forever. i have to tell you about what happened on friday while i was at Barnes & Noble with Lisa. so i was talking to Lisa and Brian sent me this text "Did you hear! Hillary duff just put a cover out of oops i did it again!" and i was like "Whatttttt????" and he was like "Remember shes trying to become britany speers!" the fucker can't even spell her name right lol. anyway by this point i was freaking the fuck out. i fucking love Britney Spears, if you didn't already know. and anyway im like flipping shit. then i was like "That was miley!!! But i dont get what hilary duff did! Did she sing a song or whatt??" then this is what i get "haha damn i messed it up i was trying to fuck with you" is he fucking kidding me?!?! you don't joke about that shit. anyway. i still love him.

marathon or Halloween with Katie?

so today i am going to continue posting about the dilemma which i am in...whether or not i should run the Baltimore half marathon. so i think i figured out why im a bit apprehensive about it. and that is because for Halloween i was planning on visiting Katie at her school. and Halloween is two weekends after the half marathon. so if i go home to run this then im not sure if ill be able to see Katie over Halloween. i know i need to set my priorities straight, but still i really would like to see Katie at some point during the next semester. oh and apparently i didn't tell Rebski about my little plan about running a marathon and she called me crazy. is it really that crazy? because i don't think so. i mean i do a lot more crazier shit than that. anyhow. if any of you who are reading this has an opinion going either way, tell me =].



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marathon?

so today im debating an important issue with myself. whether or not i should run the Baltimore half marathon on october 16. my goal by the time i finish up at NYU is to run the New York City Marathon. and i will be happy with myself if i run the half marathon. and i really think that i should start out by running the Baltimore half marathon. i really don't know what is stopping me, i guess it's just the thought of running that much. im not quite sure. all i know is, i really want to do this. but i guess the real question is whether or not im ready for it. id like to think im ready i can run over six miles in one hour, so doing the half marathon in five hours should be no biggie. but for some reason im apprehensive about the whole idea. im not sure why. maybe im just afraid. anyway. this is basically what i have been thinking about all day.



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new york city

sorry i have not updated all of you on my life. i was in new york city this weekend and met up with Sam and Hanah and Steffany and Mindy and Paula. it was mad fun. Friday night Sam and I had a rooftop party on her roof. that was greatttttt. and i was only tipsy, even though i had a glass of wine, 3 glasses of sangria (which Sam made and it turned out soooooo fucking good), and 3 shots of malibu banana rum. so my tolerance is goin up up up. it's about time now. like for real. so im pretty proud of myself. =] [=.
anyway that is all for right now because i need to put lots of pictures on facebook. yay.



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this would happen to me

so i think that Brian thinks im bi. i alluded to what happened a few years ago and how i got fucked over really badly and the person that fucked me over was a girl. no i didn't hook up with her or anything. it's just that she did something to fuck me over. and that is why i don't do or believe in relationships. he tried to get me to talk about it that day but i told i would start crying and shit and that i needed to be drunk to tell the story. so now i think Brian thinks im bi.



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beyond fucking pissed

i am beyond fucking pissed. so today, well technically yesterday, i hung out with Brian. and no i don't like him or anything, i've been hooking up with another guy lately, but Brian found a new girl. which i am totally fine with. it's about time he finds a new girl. they are not official or anything yet, but im pretty sure that is gonna happen sometime soon. anyway. while he's, let's just say fooling around with this chick what does the motherfucker do, he fucks his ex girlfriend. and i fucking hate is fucking ex girlfriend. and he knows i fucking hate her. and he was all like you should be proud of me because sex is different to guys and girls you should be proud of me that im like just fucking her again. and i was like yeah and now you can just fuck her over. but no. he's not gonna do that. he wants to keep her in his little loop just so in case things with this other chick don't work out he's got options. and im totally fine with that, yes i think like a guy, get over it, but why the fuck her. i fucking can't fucking stand that bitch, and he fucking knows that. why her?!?!?! seriously why her!?!?!?



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Enrique Iglesias

today i am blogging about my new romance, Enrique Iglesias. on day this past weekend i was watching mtv or vh1 and his song with Ciara came on, I'm Taking Back My Love. and i was like in love. still am in love. he's got an amazing voice, and aside from that an even amazinger body...which is what i really care about. so im sure you all remember rhythm divine, the ping pong song, and bailamos. well now he's back again with his album titled Euphoria. it's half in spanish and half in english. my favorite song on there is I Like It which features Pitbull. such a catchy song, and soo sooo soooo good. im in love. anyway. back to his amazingness. he's like sooo hot. and normally i don't like guys with the whole five o'clock shadow shit going on. but him, ohhhh myyyy goddddd. he is sooo hot with it. like damn i wanna tap that shit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w55Nib4uf1U&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9_n8jakvWU



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15 things about my life

so im taking this from a friend's post (sorry Lizi...i didn't know what to blog about today):

1) i love the show Friends. i own all ten seasons, and have seen every episode at least fifteen times. i can never decide which episode is my favorite, because i love them all. i really like the one with the blackout, the one where Joey gets his eyebrows waxed, the one with the night after, the one with Chandler in a box, and the one with all the thanksgivings.

2) i can't take Rachel's side on the whole we were on a break thing. i think Ross was right. they were broken up and Rachel just had to get over everything. taking a break means breaking up. if your not getting some from one person then you should be able to get it from someone else.

3) i eat ice cream or frozen yogurt everyday. i can't live without either of them. they are soooo good. and according to some people i make a fro-yo fail. that being, a fro-yo topped with just rainbow jimmies.

4) i call sprinkles jimmies. yes, that is a Boston thing and i am from Baltimore. one time i was in a dining hall and i told the woman i wanted rainbow jimmies on my fro yo and she looked at me like i had five heads.

5) i love 90s and early 2000's music. i love Britney and Nsync and Backstreet Boys and Enrique Iglesias and SoulDecision and 98 degrees and LFO and so many others. they make me feel sooo good. and that is like my feel good music. it reminds me of my childhood.

6) i love the Muppets Christmas Carol. i don't know what it is about this movie, but i fucking love it. it's amazing. i love all the muppets the Great Gonzo is my favorite. and so is Rizzo the Rat. hahaha.

7) i am obsessed with the gym. there is nothing like running and working out. it is amazing. and i LOVE it. when i get back to NYU im gonna start training for a half marathon.

8) i am obsessed with post-its. they are the greatest invention every fucking possible. i write notes to myself all the time. sometimes i even take notes on post-it notes. they are just awesome. and the post-it highlighters are even better. soooo fucking cool. you get the highlighter and the post-it flags all together.

9) i love organizing. i think organizing is sooo important. my clothes in my closet are arranged by style and then color. its like a rainbow. it's soo greattt.

10) crayola twistables, are fucking awesome. they are the greatest thing to ever exist. i love drawing with them even though i can't draw. haha. you all prob know that from my little drawing that is on facebook.

11) i love chemistry. the only thing that is stopping me from being a chemistry major is fucking calculus two. which Brian could help me with. but damn, what if i fail. like seriously, i can't deal with more fucking math. i hate it.

12) i liked math until calculus hit me like a big yellow bus. and since calculus i have hated math. i can't stand it. im sooo bad at it. i know i got an A this time in calculus. but last time not so much. not so much at all. i had like almost failed.

13) i love painting my nails. i literally have nearly every color fucking possible. i paint my nails at least once a week. or if i don't paint them i fix the color i have on by adding another coat.

14) i love Michael Jackson. he is the greatest man to ever exist. i wrote a paper on him this past year, and i have to say, it was the best paper i have ever written. the man is sooo amazing. he went to soon but he is forever in our hearts. there will never be another like him. ever.

15) the worst thing that ever happened to me, happened when i was 17. it has been over two years since it happened, and to this day, it bugs the fuck out of me. i still have not been able to forgive that person. i really want to forgive that individual but somehow i can't bring myself to doing that. i really want some closure with it, but somehow i can't seem to find it. i think once i get that closure ill be able to move one. but idk how to get that.



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Katie

this is for one of my best friends, Katie. i know sometimes she reads my blog and hopefully this will be one of the ones she gets a chance to read.
Katie, you're like one of my best friends. and i really hope you know that. you've been there for me through everything. and never once judged my like everyone else. you were there when everything happened when i was 17. from all the texting to the being in love to wanting to kick some motherfucking ass. you were there. you were part of it, which really really kills me sometimes. you shouldn't have been dragged into that whole mess, i still have no clue how that individual got hold of your phone number. and im sorry for that. i know it's not my fault, but damn i feel bad that you had to deal with that shit. i really wish none of that had ever happened, but everything happens for a reason right? so i guess what im really trying to say is thanks for always being there for me; and for always looking out for me. i love you.



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stuff

some days i feel like im not me. before everything happened i used to be this fun person who always lived life to the max. i didn't care about anything. i did what i wanted to when i wanted to. but now thing are different. im not the old me. im someone different. someone who's afraid of taking risks, someone who's afraid of getting hurt, someone who's apprehensive of everything. i never used to be this way; that is until everything happened. i wish i was the old me. everything i do now, seems fake. i don't do things because i want to, i do them because i have to. i want the old me back. i want to get over everything that happened. and im not sure how to. i really need some closure, and i don't know how to get that.



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ughhh

sometimes i feel like i made a mistake. i shouldn't have told a certain someone that i had someone for him. i like him...i like him a lot. and i don't know what to do about this. now he's seeing someone and i just wish i could get over him. and i need to. because all the guys that i have recently "liked" i didn't actually like them. i was just lusting after them, granted that's what i always do. when i lust after most guys, it's all physical; but this guy, like seriously, it's not at all physical. yeah i think it would be fun to get with him and tap that shit. but that's not all. i also want to just talk to him and just be with him. and damn this needs to fucking stop.



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Grandma

tonight no parties, no drinks, and no drunk texting. just me, myself, and i, maybe some friends, a movie or two, and some other stuff.
today's post isn't going to be my usual post. it's about someone i miss dearly, my grandma. she past away when i was eight or nine. and sometimes i really wish that she was still around. when my parents have heated arguments, i just wish i could drive up to Philly and see her. i don't know why but lately i keep thinking about her. maybe it's because i can't stand dealing with my parents or maybe it's because i wish i spent more time with her or maybe it's just something else. when i think back to the days when she was here with us, all i can think of are happy times. i remember as a kid my parents and i would go up to Philly. and there was this pizza place near where they used to live, that had the best pizza ever. and the five of us would sit around the table and just talk. the five of us being my dad, my mom, my grandpa, my grandma, and me. sometimes we would spend the night. damn i really miss her. sometimes there are things that i just can't talk to my mom about, and i want to talk to my grandma. i want to know whether or not im doing the right thing, whether or not my thinking is right, whether or not i need to do anything different. i just need some advice sometimes and i know my grandma would be able to help me. i miss her so fucking much.

grandma, id like to think you are reading this; and whether or not i showed how much i loved you before, just know i miss you soo much and love you even more. i love you.



☮ hope ♥

in other news

now i need to catch you all up on my life aside from partying. on the fourth i talked to Brian, and he told me he got a girl. he's been with her for a week. and he didn't fucking tell me. and so now i need to tell Rebski that my dream of her and Brian is gonna have to wait. and prob wait for awhile. Brian is like fucking in love with this chick. and he normally has relationships that last a long while. so unless something goes wrong, my dream is gonna have to wait for a long while, UNLESS when Brian comes up to visit me, drunk Brian and drunk Rebski do something. now that is possible. most people are whores when they are drunk. so it is very possible. Brian drinks enough, and ill give him some poppers because those fuck you up real good. and ill get the bartender to put extra rum in Rebski's pina colada. haha. i hope Rebski does not read my blog.


☮ hope ♥

District

i just realized i did not tell you all about saturday night. that night we were celebrating my friends friend's birthday. and i don't know the guy whose birthday it was. my friend was like you have to go with me. and so i was like i don't really want to, then she told me it was at this club in DC, District. and i was like im not sure and then she said there were free drinks. and i was like alright im there. and she was like meet me at my house at ten, and she lives right outside DC. and i was like alright, sounds good. and so i went crazy that night. crazy being like soooo wasted its beyond ridic. and remember that wasted priya = whore. and i was like making out with all the guys in our group. even the ones with girlfriends. but i didn't know about that, so it's not my fault. and then when i got back to my friends house everyone decided to come to her house too and we continued to drink and i mixed drinks even though i was beyond gone.



☮ hope ♥

the fifth of July

normally on big holidays (New Years, 4th of July, end of summer party, beginning of summer party) we try to keep our parties pretty mellow. and then the day after we go all out crazy, but clearly we didn't do that this time on the fourth. this year on the fifth we went beyond crazy. the area in which i generally party is this rich ass area, where parties rarely get broken because the houses are so spread apart that the neighbors can't hear anything. aka parties not getting broken. and the party we had on the fifth did not get broken but it was one of the best house parties that i have ever been to. and i have been to my fair share of parties. they had everything. all the alcohol you could imagine, all the extra stuff for drinks ever possible, and about five tables of beer/vodka/rum/tequila pong. we even took the party outside onto the lawn and the trampoline. we even lit some firecrackers behind the house. and no one called the cops on us. basically it was mad fun. and like always my phone was taken away. im not sure if i mentioned this before but when i drunk text, people can't tell im drunk texting, because everything is spelled right. so they think im sober, when im really not. and then the next morning i don't remember texting them, and then it's kinda hard to figure out what i said when i don't remember texting them, and i always clear my inbox when im drunk. it's really weird. but whatever. it was a great party.


☮ hope ♥

4th of July

i am sooooo sorry i have not posted in like three days. and because of that i owe you three stories. one from each of the parties i went to.
so on sunday i spend the day with my parents. we went to the outlets in Hagerstown, and it was pretty fun. and then when we got back my parents were going to a party at their friends house so i went to my friends house. here in Maryland, fireworks are illegal. and my drunken friends were like let's light fireworks. they won't catch us! and i was also not thinking, and said yeahhhh they won't they are all over the highways looking for drunken drivers, they aren't gonna be looking in neighborhoods for people with firecrackers. i was wrong. we all were wrong. we got caught, and almost everybody got a citation except for a few individuals including me, who were smart enough to hide. hehe =]. after the cops left and everybody who got caught went home, me and the guy whose house the party was at called everybody that was there, and told them to come back! and we stayed in the basement and kept the noise down and did not get caught again. it was a pretty damn good party. =]

☮ hope ♥

chance

this post isn't about my day or about calc (which i got an A in fyi =]) or about drunk priya. it's about life.

whenever there is something you want to do, and you have the opportunity to do it. take the chance and do it. you never know when you're gonna get another chance to do something like that. sometimes in life you get one chance, and when that chance comes, no matter what the risks are, you need to go for it. even if it doesn't work out for you in the end. you'll never have to think about what if i took that chance. in my opinion, it is these what if questions that are always the worst. so as Tom Brady once said, "all you need is a chance." so take that chance and see what happens, you never know what might happen.



☮ hope ♥

THE END

i am deeply sorry for not posting yesterday. as you all know, well those of you who follow me, i had my calculus final today, so yesterday was dedicated to calculus. and lunch with one of my girlfriends, Ilar. we went to Nordstrom Cafe like always =]. aka deliciousnesssssss.
anyhow. today was my calculus final. so fucking glad that shit over with. like seriously. fuck calc in the fucking ass. im done with that motherfucker for good. hopefully. ooo and i sold my textbook i bought on Ebay for 64 bucks to the JHU bookstore and i got back 66.75. any profit is good for me. =]. and plus i didn't have to deal with putting it up on ebay, and what not. im sorry but this post is really short. i need to get some fucking sleep. and then drink some tonight.



☮ hope ♥

fuck calculus

like seriously, im still working on my homework. and you know what the fucked up thing is...im getting almost all the questions wrong. and i have no fucking clue what im fucking doing wrong. i know you're probably thinking, well why don't you ask Brian for help. well i even did that, except i think he's either a-asleep, b-drunk, or c-something else. so he can't help me either and i am FUCKED for my quiz tomorrow. what a joy! oh and the grades for this class are gonna be majorly curved like a 90+ is an A+ and like 85-90 is an A and 79-84 is an A-. which brings me to another point. if even fucking JHU gives A+'s then why the fuck doesn't fucking NYU do that too?!?!?!?! seriously there is a HUGE difference between a med school seeing an A and then seeing an A+. so like seriously NYU think about this. and start giving students A+'s. if B+'s exist then so should A+'s.



☮ hope ♥

so pissed

today started off as a good day. you know besides going to calculus monday morning. but i did not have a hangover so it wasn't that bad. and the class itself today, was not that bad. except for getting my quizzes from last week back. i mean they weren't all bad just one of the three. and my instructor drops the two lowest quizzes. and i was pretty concerned about my grade but i remembered the dropping so i felt much relief because my next lowest quiz grade is an 88%. so i get home and what does my father ask while he's on the phone talking to someone else, "did you get any quizzes back?" and i said "yeah ill talk to you when you're done." eventually he got of the phone and i said "just remember she drops the two lowest quizzes and even if she didn't my quiz average with this quiz is a 95%." i didn't calculate my grade with the quiz being dropped because i had a quiz today, have one tomorrow, and have one on wednesday. but still he got all mad and flipped shit. and he was like "why did you do so bad?" and i said "i didn't have time to study for this quiz because i had the midterm the day i had to do the work for this one." and then he said, "you're telling me that between 1 pm [time i get home from school] and 9 am [time my class starts] you did not have time to study for your test? did you have work?" and i said "no. i wanted to take a break. i had just done the midterm and i couldn't concentrate on studying." anyhow. he is beyond pissed at me and i am beyond pissed at him. like seriously my quiz average with the fucking quiz is a fucking 95%. i never did this fucking good the first time around in calculus two fucking years ago. and my grade in the class right now, is even higher than my quiz average because quizzes are only 25% and on the midterm, which is 35% i got a fucking 100%. seriously my dad needs to fucking stop. yes i feel horrible about doing so bad, but look at the fucking bright side. its like bright as fucking hell. seroiusly! ughhh so pissed.



☮ hope ♥

today

first thing first: last night should not have happened, especially since i had to be at work at 10:30.
secondly: i am pissed as fuck at fucking Brian.
third: i feel like i am about to die.

last night as you all know i went to a party. and as all of you know i tend to drink a lot when i drink. id say i had about ten drinks in all, a few poppers, a few rum screwdrivers, and lots of vodka. and as a result drunk Priya was out and about. my friend's ipod was on shuffle and this song "Hey" by Lil Jon and 3OH!3 came on. the first time around only a select few had heard it. and we ALL loved it so much that we decided we HAD to replay it. at one point in the song Lil Jon goes, "SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT!" and there were about forty of us at this party and when that part came on, someone came up with the fabulous idea to take four shots at that part. now no where near did we have 160 shot glasses. so SOLO CUPS. in one cup there were four shots so you could just drink four times when the "SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT" part came on. since we were short on time, the song is only 3:45 minutes long, and we had to make forty drinks in that time i wasn't the only one mixing drinks. so one of my friends, who was making my drink decided that instead of giving me four shots to give me six. and i had already had two drinks, so more alcohol in me was really really really not needed. anyhow drunk Priya= whore Priya. although last night i was more of a make-out whore than anything else. so i stayed over at my friends house and for some reason after going to bed at four i woke up at fucking six!! and i only got fucking two fucking hours of fucking sleep. and Brian, Rebecca, and my friend's ex-boyfriend were all in my dream. it was really weird because i don't talk to the ex-boyfriend at all. like we're facebook friends and such but we never talk. i haven't talked to him in a good year and a half. at least. so i went home and then drank LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of water to get rid of that awful hangover, which worked. and then i went to the gym for a bit. normally hungover people shouldn't work out, but for me somehow it helps me get back to normal. i have no clue why that is, but it works for me so i put it to use. and then i went to work and then the mall with my mom.

Brian fucking William fucking Beisel. i am sooo fucking pissed off at him it's not even fucking funny. yesterday we were supposed to hang out and i woke up at noon, because i was hungover, although not too badly, to text him to see what time we were gonna hang, and he said he had to do something but after that. and then i told him to call me an hour before so i could get ready and stuff because i was going back to sleep. the fucker never called or texted me back and we did not hang out yesterday. i know why this is making me soo mad even though it shouldn't. i mean it's really not that big of a deal, but he should have had the decency to call or text me and say "hey i can't hang out today" or something along those lines. anyhow. im really really mad at him. i wish i wasn't so mad about it.

so i have my calculus final this week. and it is gonna kill me. like seriously. i don't get what we did last class. but i did something a little different to get the right answers to the homework. which is okay, unless she asks us to do it the certain way, which i don't get. but other than that i get it so far. but i still feel like it is going to kick my ass. first because i get test anxiety. and second because i don't want to ask Brian for help because i am soo fucking mad at him. but if i need it i'll probably just get over myself and ask him. anyway. im really freaking out about this final because i need to get an A. yes i did fine on the midterm, but the final is more about the stuff after the midterm than before. i mean i still need to know the stuff from before the midterm, but it's gonna be more about the stuff after. so i really really really need to concentrate. and not party monday, tuesday, and wednesday night. tonight i might i might not. im not quite sure how im feeling about it right now.



☮ hope ♥

parties

ugh my god. some people really really really suck. last night i was at this party, which my friend and i made about 50 bucks each, and there were people who were being obnoxious as hell. and it was really fucking annoying. like seriously. even when you're drunk you can't be THAT bad. some of the things these people did includes, breaking glasses, doing back flips on the driveway when clearly there are rocks right there, and throwing bottles at each other just for the hell of it, to name a few. like seriously people...really?!?! do you really not know any better? anyway. other than those few things it was a pretty fun party. lots of tequila, rum, and vodka. my three favorites. tonight, another night another party.



☮ hope ♥

limits

so last night as you all know i was at a party...which will be the same case tonight in like ten mins; so sorry but this is gonna be a quick post. anyway. last night, i realized something very important. everyone needs to know their alcohol limit. like seriously people. if you're a light weight like myself, three drinks and your done, don't go and have ten unless they are spread out and you are constantly drinking water/gatorade, and eating. seriously. the reason this was brought up to my attention is that this guy who can handle about ten drinks in a short period of time was like, "it's my best friends birthday i should drink extra for him." how much extra did he decide to take? five shots of tequila. seriously?!?!?! five!!! that shit fucks you up real good, which is partially why it is my drank. but that is not the point. the point is when i was making him..well more like pouring him drink number fifteen, i gave it to him and then he dropped the shot. like legit dropped the shot. and tequila on the floor with drunk people all around, not a good combo. seriously. not a good one. people need to know their limit and NOT drink an extra five shots for their best friend.



☮ hope ♥

almost done

im getting really fucking freaked out. this morning i woke up at five because of a dream i had. Brian fucking died in my fucking dream. goddamnit. what the fuck is going on?!?!?! like seriously?!?!?! he fucking died. what does that fucking mean? i bet it has something with what im trying to do for him but im not sure. actually im pretty sure it does. but why am i having dreams where he is fucking dying?? that is fucking ridiculous. i can't deal with this anymore.
oh and on top of all this shit, i have fucking calculus to fucking deal with. i really want an A in the class, and as of right now even if i get a 50% on the final ill end up with a B- in the class, which is not what i want. but still it's nice to know that i have something going for me. but i really need to do well on the final. because i really really really want an A. like that was my goal. and i am determined to keep it.
that's pretty much my life right now. kinda boring but it's better than it being bad, right?


☮ hope ♥

life

today's post is not being sent from where it normally is, that being my house. right now im at a friend's house. and if i can give you one good piece of advice, never ever ever (i can't stress the "ever" enough) let your friends make you a drink when you don't know what is in it. right now im not talking about what my friends did to me, but rather what i did to one of my friends. hehe =]. he still loves me =].
anyhow. im not sure what's been going on with me lately, but whatever it is, it really needs to fucking stop. i still have not had a decent night of sleep in forever. and it's kinda really beginning to freak me out. i keep having the first dream i did with Brian. and now im getting used to depressed Brian, which is not like him in actuality at all! and i just wish i knew what the fuck is fucking going on because this is beyond fucking ridiculousness.
in other news, i feel like everything that happened when i was 17 is coming back to haunt me now. i had a strange dream last night and James was in it. he was the one who "drunk texted" the motherfucker to get some answers. and i told him to never talk to her again but i feel like he will. im not sure why. i know he hates her, as do all of my friends who know this story, but i hope he just doesn't talk to her ever again. it's too much to deal with. it has been nearly two years and still it fucking bothers me to this day. i know most of you who read this don't know what im talking about. and that's because only five people know about this story. and i can't write it out on here because it just makes me sick to my stomach. and i need to be way way way way way drunk and not only drunk but a sad drunk to tell this story. and im never a sad drunk, unless im sad and then i start drinking. so those of you who want to hear this story will have to see me to hear it.
also today i saw Courtney and we went to Tutti Frutti. then we went back to her house and watched Wimbledon. we were watching the Isner versus Mahut match, which STILL has not finished. it's gone on for over nine fucking hours, and is doing some major major major record setting. anyway that's all for now.


☮ hope ♥

yay

sorry for the late post, but i just finished my calc homework. which by the way i have no clue what i did. anyway. today, well technically yesterday, i got my midterm back i got a 200 out of 210. but she curved it and said to divide the grade you got by 2 and that'll be the percentage. so basically i just got a 100% on my fucking midterm! woohoo. but im still gonna freak out about the final. no doubt about that. which by the way is next friday.
in other news, i talked to Rebski and Brian today. im still not sure when she is coming down, but she deffffff is coming in july. that is for fucking sure. otherwise i will go up to Philly and bring her down myself. today Brian asked about Rebski, but that is probably because i mentioned her. that's all i really have for today. now im gonna go to bed because i have been up since fucking five in the fucking morning because i couldn't go back to sleep.



☮ hope ♥

today

calculus kicked my motherfucking ass. like for reall. that midterm fucking intense. and i should be celebrating the end but that's gonna be tomorrow =]. not much else happened today. it was a pretty chill day. ooo but i did find out that me and my friend, Adrienne are gonna be part of move in day at not only the same time but the same residence hall! so i am uber uber uber excited and she's gonna make me and Brian white chocolate chip expresso brownies!!! Brian is hopefully gonna visit me then! yayyyyyyyy!!! that'll be the first time he visits me, which is kinda sad but that's okay!



☮ hope ♥

life

so today i woke up with a hangover, went to work, and did not go to the gym. later today i will be studying for calculus, after i take my dad out to dinner. btw, i just saw the cutest pic of little Brian. anyway. last night was pretty awesome. my friend and i made about a hundred bucks each from the party. well more like 80 each, but still pretty good shit =]. it was mad funnnn! and i only did a few minor stupid things, so sorry for not having any fun and exciting stories. =[



☮ hope ♥

life

so today at work i found out that one of my co-workers was my mom's student! and boy was that a surprise. she told me that she remembered back in the day when i was eight-ish and i would go to work with my mom, for take your child to work day. what a small world! anyway. right now im at my friend's house and we be having a partayyyy! so after work i went straight here and then to giant. yayyyy! that's really all for right now.



☮ hope ♥

this is not going to make sense

i really fucked up. and now its bothering me. why do i have to get them together?!?! why did i have to find someone? other people could've found someone. why ask me? like seriously why don't i have more girl friends? and then maybe it wouldn't bother me so much. well i guess i have more guy friends because i think like a guy so i have more guy friends. i literally have like five girl friends. i know what i did is a good thing for them, but why is it bothering me? well i know the answer to that. but i hate relationships, so why is it bothering me. even if it could work out with me id never go for it. EVER! so why do i wish i didn't do that?


☮ hope ♥

fuck calculus

so apparently i do better in calculus when im hungover. isn't that like fucking awesome. but im def not putting that to test on monday. bc that's when i have my fucking midterm for that fucking class. that's gonna be funnnn. NOT. like for reallll not. i fucking hate fucking calculus. and the instructor can't even fucking teach. its soooo bad. ughhhh fuck calculus.


☮ hope ♥

calculus

so yesterday i forgot to post. i am truly sorry. =[ but ummm my fucking calculus exam is on fucking monday. i am NOT looking forward to that. although i get everything that is going to be on it, so i guess i should be okay. but much of the next two days are going to be dedicated to calculus. so if i don't post i am really very sorry. btw going hungover to calculus, not a good idea. i mean i never thought it was smart, but the fact that i did it. well let's just say not the best idea. lady gaga's alejandro was stuck in my head all fucking day. like for real. that fucking needs to stop. i love her old stuff, you know, just dance, poker face, that stuff. i can't stand what she's turned into. and my new favorite song, say aah by Trey Songz. love it!!!



☮ hope ♥

Calculus

fuck calculus. no seriously fuck it in the ass. like for real. ughhhh i hate it so goddamn motherfucking much. it just needs to go the fuck away. yeah this is all i got for today. im soooo fucking frustrated. its like beyond fucking ridic. i can't take fucking calculus anymore. and my brain is just not functioning anymore.


☮ hope ♥

Shyam

so today i went to the gym and then to work. but before i went to work i went to Kenneth Cole to see if my friend Shyam was working and he was. except he told me that his mom's cancer was back. and damn i feel so bad for him. his mom is like one of the nicest people in the world, and this is happening to her. it's so sad. and she had it before and it went away after chemo and stuff, and now it's back. he told me that she nearly died the first time and that he's prepared for the worst, and it just made my heart sink. god i hope she gets better.



☮ hope ♥

life

today i spent $50 on shoes. and i mean i love them and all, but still i spent 50 bucks on them. that is way more than i ever spend on shoes. and umm last night while i was at a party i called Alec and i told him about a certain situation that i have created for myself. which id rather not post on here. and i was pretty sad last night so i had to talk to someone i guess and i chose Alec. apparently i knew i wouldn't remember much so i told him last night to text me today because he said he would help me out. so during my break i called him and we talked for a good twenty mins. it was nice hearing his voice again. and i fucking miss fucking nyc.



☮ hope ♥

Brian

it was sooooooooo nice seeing Brian today. we just talked for like ever and ever he was here for like three hours and we just caught up on life. and we talked about Rebecca and him getting together. Brian said he needed a girl, so Rebecca it is. and when she comes down Geoffery is gonna come too. and then the four of us are gonna do something. i can't wait till then it'll be sooooo damn funnn. me and Brian talked about everything today. and i mean everything: girls/guys, energy drinks, drinking, Rebecca, Geoffery, smoking, school, and people. and hopefully i'll be seeing more of Brian next week. it's been mad long since i've seen him.



☮ hope ♥

life

yesterday i meant to post something about another dream i had the night before last, which also happens to be one of my dreams from last night, but i forgot =[. first off, today i was very excited that my calculus class ended early. secondly, today at work everyone, and i mean EVERYONE loved my shoes. and my manager loved my jeans even though they weren't Loft. and another good thing i get to see Brian today! like in an hour or two. but im still having those dreams. and yesterday Rebski suggested to limit the coffee, and i feel like she guilt tripped me. so today, i only had three cups of coffee so far. that's like a major record for me!
anyway. so my dream last night and the night before last. i don't remember much of it. all i remember is Rebski, Brian, me, and a bunch of other people at a bar. and Brian and I were pressuring Rebski to drink more. and we told the bartender to add extra Bacardi to her pina coladas, which he did! it was great. she was piss fucking drunk!!!! like drunken beyond belief. and when we were going home (she lived like a block away from me) Brian had to carry her. and we decided to let her sleep in my apartment because she was so so so hammered. and that is all i remember =[.
anyway. these dreams need to stop. hopefully today they will. like seriously i really really hope so. because this is beyond ridiculous. like seriously.



☮ hope ♥

ughhhh

okay. so this is getting beyond ridic. last night i had another dream. Rebski was in this one, as was Brian. so me and Rebski were in med school together, and i believe we were in New York City, and Brian wanted to visit me because apparently i hadn't seen him in forever. so i told him to come up after the huge exam Rebski and i were having. and so he did. and normally Rebski is all about NOT drinking sorrows away, but this time her and i were drinking our sorrows away. and there were some other people with us, who i couldn't recognize and/or don't remember. and me and Rebski lived really close to each other. so her, me, and Brian walked back together, and boy were we drunk out of our minds. and i should mention that Brian had a serious girlfriend, because i asked him when they were gonna get married. and anyway. i slept with Brian, which i guess could be blamed on the alcohol; even though i would never do that, even if i was that drunk...well id like to think that. and then the next morning i couldn't remember shit. and we fucked again. and that time there wasn't any alcohol. i wouldn't do that. so i have no clue what these dreams mean. but someone please help me. because this is driving me crazy!



☮ hope ♥

ughhh fuck my dreams

i am going completely insane. i swear. this is beyond fucking ridic. i haven't had dreams like this since i don't know maybe four five years ago. and now this shit needs to stop, like for real. last night i had the opportunity of having ANOTHER dream. and this time i was a homewrecker. and sadly i've already kinda been there, done that. kinda being i was fucking this friend of mine, and then he got a girlfriend. but she said it was too early in their relationship to have sex, so i continued to fuck him. and so yeah but once they were doing it i was out of the picture. and the weird thing is i didn't feel bad about that. but in my dream i felt TERRIBLE about it. i can't remember exactly what happened, but damn i felt bad. i kept telling Brian that we can't even though both of us wanted to. what i really want to know is what the fuck do these dreams mean; they are driving me fucking insane.



☮ hope ♥

Katie time

so last night i went to the movies with Katie! we saw Killers, with Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher. and omg omg omg sooooo good! i suggest everyone should go see it. it's just soooo fucking good. and i told Katie about the creepy dreams i've been having lately and she thinks that one of them has to do with Maddie, which i completely agree with. and these dreams won't stop. and they are driving me INSANE. ughhhhhh i can't do this anymore. oh and my dad drank one of Brian's redbulls, but that's just Brian's fault for not seeing me earlier. other than the dreams life is good!



☮ hope ♥

JHU time

so last night i was at a party at JHU. and ummm it was decent. i normally don't go to dorm parties, because i go to school in nyc. so we just go out and stuff. but it was kinda fun. and like always i did something stupid. that's like always a given with me. but anyway. he wanted a screwdriver, and what did i give him a shark bite. haha i felt sooo smart. i really do know how to make my drinks lol. i promise! and i stayed there for the night and came back like an hour ago. and i have work in an hour. yay!



☮ hope ♥

dreams and dreams

so once again i had the same dreams last night. and it's sooooooo fucking annoying like for real they NEED to stop. this really all i have time to day right now. because i am about to go out, so i will talk about what happens hopefully tomorrow!



☮ hope ♥

dreams

for some reason i forgot to post yesterday but the night before i had ANOTHER weird dream about Brian. we were hanging out and then the next thing i knew i was outside his house driving my car crazily around his cul-de-sac. it was sooo weird. and he was outside his house getting into his car and was completely ignoring me. so i got out and yelled at him for a good good good while. and then i woke up. and i had the other dream again. so im getting really freaked out. does anyone know what either of the dreams mean??



☮ hope ♥

life and it's strange things

so last night i had the strangest dream ever possible. Brian was over at my house at around one or two in the morning because he wanted to talk about stuff going on in his life. and we talked for like ever; i don't remember what was going on in his life. all i remember is telling him he needs to get some fucking shit taken care off. and then at like three my parents start to roll up the drive way. and im like ill just tell them Courtney had to leave her car here. but Brian had to ruin it by not hiding, so my parents saw him and asked him why he was there. and he said in the most depressing voice ever fucking possible "i just needed some life help" or something along those lines. and then i woke up.
the scary thing about this is sometimes my dreams come true. so at 7:30 in the morning before i left for my fucking calculus class i texted Brian, "Hey i know its mad early but are okay? Im not trying to be creepy or anything, i just had the strangest dream about you last night." and he told me he was fine and work is taking over his life.
also today, calculus started =[. i really am not looking forward to this shit. like seriously, the woman teaching it can't even speak english and she's a second year graduate student. there is something wrong with that. after that i had to do some random shit around campus, parking permit, j-card, getting my textbook...you get the flow. then i came home, bought the book off of Half for $60 and not $130. and then went to Courtney's house and then to Tutti Frutti. then i went back to her house and we watched this movie based on Dragon Ball-Z, which was decent.



☮ hope ♥

another day another rant

so today i have another rant. i get really really really annoyed when people are late. today my mother and i were supposed to go shopping and we were gonna leave at ten in the morning. my dad was like im gonna come too, and because of him we didn't leave until 10:40. if there's a plan i like to stick to it. and NOT be late. if you tell me even a few minutes in advance that is great. but not telling me at all, FUCK NO. i like being on time. and can't stand being late.



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my rant for today

so if there is one thing that i really hate, it's hippocracy. i really can't stand these people. it's one of the reasons i don't really have a faith. im basically athiest and these people are partially the reason why. the other reasons, well that's a story for another day. every year my parents do this thing at our temple, where they make food for anywhere from 300 to 450 people. it's a LOT of work. and i help my parents because the people in who's honor they do it, meant a lot to me. and honestly i really miss them. they were like my grandparents. and anyway. we had a bunch of food left over and this one guy packed literally like seven or eight containers of it! sikh's are not supposed to be greedy, but this guy was beyond fucking greedy. it's beyond fucking ridic. i can't stand that guy, i really honestly seriously fucking dislike him. and it's not like i wanted to take all the fucking food leftover; but my parents spend their time and money and energy in making it. they should be able to give it to whomever they want. and they did give it some of their friends, but still that guy had NOTHING to do with us. yes he should eat it like all the other people, but he shouldn't be a fucking greedy fucking ass. and the sad thing is it's not only my family and me who don't like him. many other people in our temple don't like him. anyway. that's my rant.



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so happy

so yesterday i saw Lisa and it was mucho exciting!! but today was the most excitingest thing. IM EMPLOYED!!! i now work at Ann Taylor Loft. and now one of my nine summer goals is complete. and i created a list of the chapters i will learn each week for chemistry. and after im done with calculus i shall pick Rosetta Stone in Hindi AND an AP physics book, that way i can learn physics. before i actually take the class. and to celebrate my job, my mom and i went to TCBY!!!! so yummy in my tummy!



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boring

so i haven't blogged in a few days but that's only because nothing interesting has been happening. except yesterday i had a job interview at jcpenny. and i think it went well. well i hope it went well. anyway. i'll find out if i got the job next week. that's pretty much all that is going on in my life.



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life

so ummm nothing is really going on right now. i didn't do anything too crazy last night. well i didn't do anything crazy at all last night. i was home at like midnight and went straight to bed. but still had fun. and today i didn't do anything. well that's a lie. i went grocery shopping, and picked up some forms from my doctor. and then i went out for dinner tonight, but with my parents. so that wasn't as fun. but it was good. that's all for now.



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water?

so im sorry all that i was unable to post yesterday. which i really could have on friday night/ saturday morning. anyway. i went to bed at like four in the fucking morning, even though i really wasn't doing anything, aside from watching a movie. and then i woke up at eight and went shopping all day and then dinner. by the time i got home it was like 10:30, and time for me to go to a partayyy.
so i was at my friends house, and i had a few screwdrivers and some shots. and by this time it was like 12:30, and we were extremely hungry. so i opened up the cabinet and saw pasta and plenty of snack foods. but we needed real food and considering how unsober we all were, something easy. so i was like "is pasta good?" and everyone was like yes. i mean how hard can pasta be, water, pasta, butter, sauce. i forgot to add the water. so i was banned from the kitchen. but then someone else made it so we didn't go hungry. =]



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on old friend i missed dearly

so today i woke up at like noon. i thought i had to go to Giant to get some stuff but i didn't. so i basically woke up early for no reason! well i mean there was a reason but yeah. anyway. today i saw KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeahhh i love this chica! ive known her for like seven years, she's like one of my best friends. she was supposed to come to my house, but i went to hers instead. and like always we watched Friends, and talked about life. i told her multiple stories the one where the woman SAT on me in the subway, the one where i drank too much, the one with Brian and his ex and Geoffery and Rebecca and that whole mess, and then a bunch of stories about butt guy and the library. i missed the Katie in my life, and now she's back.
and ummm today is Pacman's birthday and Google is fucking amazing! i sat there playing it for a long long while. and then of course i filled out more job applications. wooohoooo. NOT!!



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Courtney

so today i saw Courtney! and we talked and talked and talked some more and then we started job hunting online. and my computer seems to hate everyone except me. i mean it's a good thing that it doesn't hate me, but i wish it liked everyone else too. and then we talked and went to Noodles and Co. for lunch! i missed that place. soooooo fucking good.


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and life

nothing that interesting is happening right now, except last night i had the best conversation ever on Omegle. we covered like everything. anyway. nothing really interesting happened today except i couldn't fucking eat after midnight this early morning because someone had to get blood drawn. yay...NOT!!! i love giving blood, but i hate when i have to get blood drawn for stupid things such as diabetes and cholesterol tests. and its not even like i show any signs of either of those, nor do they run in my family.
anyway. that day i did the summer goals post i forgot to include one more goal.

6- learn chemistry II
next semester i take chemistry II. so my goal for the summer is to learn it. i learned it once in AP Chemistry but that was about three years ago. so i've forgotten a lot. so id like to brush up on it that way i am ready for the fall and don't have to spend as much time on it. that was my time can go to physics.

7- get a job
i don't think this needs any explanation.

8- sell stuff on ebay
i've collected many books and other things over the years and i just need to get rid of them. and ebay is the best way to make the most money. if i were trying to just get rid of it quickly then id go to Craig's list, but that's not the case.

9- learn physics
my dad is really good at it, so it'll be in my benefit to learn it before the semester starts. that way im prepared.



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Nisha

so today i saw Nisha!!! we went to Tutti Frutti and had delicious fro-yo. and we talked for like ever and it was sooo nice seeing her after such a long time. she's like one of my only indian friends, and it seems like she knows all the indian kids in my area. so i told her i need to have more indian friends. and she was like why so i told her the wedding story and how indian people throw the best parties. and she agreed with me; we do throw the best parties. i missed the Nisha in my life, and i get to see her next friday and i am uber excited for that! and i think we're gonna get fro-yo again except at Yogi's Castle.



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summer goals

so instead of ranting about how fucking NYU STILL has not posted up all my fucking final grades, i thought id talk about my summer goals.

My Goals:

1- pass calculus with an A/A-
so this summer im taking calculus at JHU. and i've had some pretty bad experiences with it, so im hoping this summer is not a repeat of those past experiences. Brian and probably my dad will be helping me. this class will basically determine whether or not i am going to attempt to major in chemistry. i know for sure im a psychology major and i know i am at least a chemistry minor, but there's a possibility, if the class goes well, that i might also major in chemistry. it'll be hell but oh well. i like chemistry. yes im a nerd, deal with it. the reason this class decides it is because i need to take another semester of calculus to be a chemistry major

2- learn to drive a manual
when i saw Brian over winter break he told me he'd teach me to drive a stick over the summer IF i showed absolutely no signs of road rage when im with him.

3- brush up on Hindi
so i speak Hindi fluently, but i also need to be able to write just as well. and i can write and read just not very well. so Rosetta Stone here i come. in a few days...maybe a week...i don't know when but hopefully during the summer =]

4- go to nyc
this is pretty self-explanatory. i miss the city. the end.

5- party party party.
this also pretty self-explanatory. i like to party. yay.



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today

so last night i went to this party, and i did not have a repeat of last weekend. =]] and i got home at like two but somehow i didn't get to bed till like four. probably because i started watching Friends. i also talked to Alec which was kinda nice and yet sad. i miss all my friends, and the fact that a lot of my friends aren't home till later this week is not helping.
today i woke up at like two...literally. it was nice because i didn't have to do any work for the people coming over in like half an hour. well i did, but not that much. and i've been watching Friends for the last three-ish hours. and i love Friends, just in case you hadn't noticed.



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fuck NYU...or just the people that put the grades up

seriously NYU?!?!?! seriously?!?!?! what the fuck...no like seriously what the fuckkkkk....commencement was on wednesday, today is saturday. all my grades should be in by now. but are they?? NO!!! why the fuck not? i wish i fucking knew. id really like to know what i got in the class that i don't have the grade up for. like for real. that was the only class that i was really unsure about what im gonna get. and guess what i still don't fucking know. this is getting beyond ridiculous. i wanna know what i got and today would be fucking nice.



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more about my life

so today i woke up at one, which i guess does make sense since i slept at six. i watched a one and a half seasons of Friends, and it was soooo fucking worth it. i love that show. it's probably the greatest show out there. so i think im gonna be up all night again watching Friends. and you know i thought that once i got home id be getting lots of sleep. but that really has not been the case. which might be a good thing, considering i have a summer class starting in a bit, but id really like to get some extra sleep. for the past few weeks it seems like i have forgotten what sleep is. but that's preparing me for med school right? well that's the way im looking at it.
in other news Brian is home next week, and his fucking redbulls are waiting for him. im not sure if i mentioned this but during finals week at NYU i got like three redbulls, and then i collected others throughout the second semester because my new year's resolution was to give up all energy drinks (this was not proposed by me, but by fucking Brian). and i've kept it up so far and id like to see how long i can go. it's been over five months which is a big deal for me. i used to drink three of the big redbulls, two frappuccinos, and three coffees everyday. but now it's just lots of coffee and an occasional frappuccino. well it's more like way way way tooo much coffee, but the way i see it is: coffee is better than redbull. and you know what the funny thing is, i don't drink coffee to stay awake. one because it doesn't work, and two because well it just really doesn't work. i drink it because im addicted to caffeine.



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life

so today im really not sure what i did besides go to the gym. that's partially because i woke up at noon. so while i was at the gym Rebecca texted me saying that our chemistry grades were up. and yes i got an A. so there's only one grade that i don't know which is kinda really driving me crazy because it should be up. grades are due from professors 72 hours after the exam. this exam was right after chemistry so it should be up. so NYU is kinda pissing me off. in other news today i when i was making my lunch i realized it was thursday and every thursday i have lunch with Alec, or coffee, or well i at least see him. but that didn't happen today. also i kinda really miss all my NYU friends and going through New York City withdrawal is not helping my case.



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life

so today i saw Courtney after the longest time. well it felt like a long ass time, anyway we went to the mall and just hung out. it was nice. im soo glad i get to see my friends again. and i also got my chemistry final exam grade, my philosophy exam, and my chemistry lab final grade. and you know what's really fucked up??? i do fine in the classes for my major/focus but i do worse on my required classes. those are supposed to be worse. and also today i brought into perspective the possibility of doing a double major in psychology and chemistry.



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updates updates updates

so i haven't blogged in literally a week, i've just been so busy with finals and getting home and stuff, so here's to one long post.

so tuesday i was major major major freaking out about my chemistry exam that was on thursday. and to add to that my friend Geoffery decided to drop the bomb: he knew my friend Brian. and i have mentioned Brian multiple times, because for some reason i really think that Rebecca and Brian need to hook up. i have no clue why, but i really think they need to get together. so Rebecca, Geoffery, and me are sitting at this table in the library, and we're in the area where we can talk. and then Geoffery says, "I know Brian Beisel, well im not sure if it's the same one but i know one" and im like "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? Describe him!" and he goes "tall, average weight, curly brown hair" and im like "OHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDDD!!!!" he says he knew Brian from an orchestra camp in Philly when he was a freshmen so i text Brian "so did you go to an orchestra camp when you were a sophomore in Philly?" and Brian's like "how did you know thattt?!?!?!" i felt like a complete creeper so i called him and told him what was going on and i also told him about Rebecca and he was like "send me a picture of the both of them" so i did. and the idiot thought that Rebecca was also from the camp and i was like "nooooo she's the girl im trying to set you up with." and then he was like "what prompted this?" so i had to tell him the story about how his ex-girlfriend asked me about how i like nyu and i couldn't fucking lie to her because i fucking love nyu. im sooo fucking happy there. so i basically told her the truth, and i thought that i convinced her to come to nyu. and me and Brian talked for a bit and i was hoping he would never hear this story but clearly that didn't happen.

so wednesday i was major freaking the fuck out about chemistry. like for real. in a twenty-four time period, i had ten coffees, two vibrancy drinks, and a cig, i don't even smoke! i told Brian about this and i was like im gonna die and i told him what i did and he said that he would kill me. but he'd never do that; he loves me. anyway i was studying my ass off with Rebecca and Hanah. Rebecca, Geoffery, and me also got frozen yogurt when we were taking a study break. and that day in the library i was so much in the zone to the point that i couldn't hear my friends calling me and the other reason is probably that i had my music on really loud. and i still think that i failed my exam.

thursday, i had to turn my take home final exam. and then when i was walking to the building i realized i forgot to print out my works cited page. and then i went to library printed it out and turned it in. then i slept for a few hours and i got lunch with Alec and freaked the fuck out because i had my chemistry exam and then right after i had another exam. and i think i did alright on that exam. so after my exams i hit the library up again with Rebecca. and Hanah said she was treating me to frozen yogurt, but i don't let people treat me i just let them think that they will treat me. and then after we went back to the library for some chemistry fun. and then this guy Matt was also there. i don't think i've mentioned him, but he used me for chemistry and to get to Rebecca (he wants her so bad like it's sooooo funny, and she really doesn't want him. and im trying to get her with Brian) and for Starbucks. i don't remember when this happened but we were in the library and i was being polite because that's just me unless you give me a reason to be mean, which many people do. anyway so i was like im going to Starbucks anyone want anything (anyone being Matt and Rebecca) and Matt was like "yeah i'll have a grande iced caramel machiato" i was expecting him to pay me back but he didn't. so finally on thursday i was like pay me back, and by the way, he was drinking in the library, and smelt like ughhhhh. like i hate the smell of beer, any other alcohol is fine just not beer. i hate beer the smell the taste everything. who the fuck fucking drinks in a fucking library? like for real. so i asked him for my money which he did give back thankfully, otherwise he would've gotten a piece of me. then at like three the upper areas of the library were closing and Geoffery, Rebecca, and me were going to leave then. just then Annie told me butt guy was downstairs sitting right across from her i didn't want to see him, but then i had to. i ended up walking almost all the way back to my dorm with Rebecca and Geoffery but then i turned around went right back to the library to stare at him like a creeper..not really. i actually did study for my chemistry lab final. ughhh i really wanna tapp that shittttt, but that's not gonna happen now is it? so i was at the library till 5:30 and i went to bed at 6 woke up at 7.

and now on to friday. like i said i woke up at seven so basically an hour of sleep, and i was leaving, and i had literally nothing packed, and didn't sell my books, and i hadn't been to the gym in three days. so i was not in a good mood. anyway i had to go to Bath and Body Works, to pick up my mom's Mother's Day gift and to Papyrus to get a card. and i had a few other things to do. i did them, went to lunch with Hanah and Rebecca and Geoffery also came. then we all went to our exam and i got out of their asap. like i couldn't deal with that shit. and so i left sold my books and began freaking the fuck out. i didn't have anything packed. all i had done was getting the posters off of my wall. and i texted Hanah, Annie, Steffany, Alec, Geoffery, and Rebecca that i was in my room and i needed help! and Hanah-bless her heart- my parents would have killed me if it weren't for her. she literally packed everything for me. and when my parents were stuck in the Holland Tunnel i did a little bhangra for Rebecca, Alejandra, and Geoffery. my parents picked me up and that's when it hit me. i really do not want to leave new york city. im in love with it, and i don't think i'll ever want to leave. i told this to Brian who was drunk at formal and he seemed to take it well.

saturday. well i slept for like twelve hours because i was sooooo sleep deprived. i saw Lisa too. and obviously i was obnoxious as ever at Barnes & Noble (what's new there?) it was nice seeing her. i hadn't seen her in forever. and then that night i went to a friends house. and you all know that i am a light weight. we were playing an intense round of vodka/orange juice pong...which i did fucking win but i thought it would be a good idea to chugg the rest. and then i had two coconut rum and orange juices. and then James told me some stuff about this bitch which you guys do not know about, and that made me sad so my friends were like petron!!! tequilla!!! so i had seven drinks but thankfully i kept eating so i didn't get sick. and i remember everything!! so it's all good.

sunday. that was Mother's Day, and i was hungover. and then Brian texted and was like "whattt your not gonna come home" or some shit like that and i didn't know what he was talking about because i was so hungover and then he clarified and i was like ohhh and i told him i didn't wanna be home and shit like that and he DID NOT take the news well. then i visited my grandmother who's at my mom's sister's house...i would say my aunt, but she's not an aunt to me. in my opinion you earn a name, aunt, sister, brother, etc.., by what you do. this woman has never done a single thing that makes her my aunt. i absolutely hate that bitch. she's a fucking motherfucker. my parents and i went out for dinner and that was fun.

monday, i slept a lot. ate a lot of junk food, like way way way way way too much and then went to the gym. and i started a 1000 piece puzzle. surprisingly my mother did not get mad at me. also my dad's family friends were like is it okay if we come on saturday or sunday and obviously my parents were like of course so that meant that on tuesday i had to clean all of my shit because on wednesday (today) the cleaning people were coming. i get these people are really important not just to my parents but in the world but still i just got home gimme a break.

tuesday. CLEANING MY SHIT! the end. and then i went to a restaurant with some friends. then when i got home cleaning some more. like a lot more and i had a shit load of fucking shit to clean. it was fucking intense. like not good. and my mom is in crazy bitch mode. so that does not help my case.

so there's my life since the last time i posted. today's post will be coming shortly.



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lust

so im in major lust. like it's so not me and so unhealthy. like i don't know what to do with myself. my friends keep making fun of me for obsessing so much. and i know it's not right, but what do i do? like i just wanna fuck him once. i mean if it's good then maybe again, but i really just wanna do it once with him. im sooo obsessed like i was legit shaking, it's so bad. today i told my friend Hanah about him, and she saw him and gave me a condom. like seriously what do i do with myself? and Rebecca and her best friend, Geoffery, keep making fun of me: the shaking, the obsession, and everything else. i can't take this anymore. i need to do something, but i don't know what to do. i can't think straight and i leave on friday, fml.



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i don't like the subway

so i wasn't able to post what i really wanted to yesterday, so im doing it now. and its also for my writing class which is why everything is correct.

I do not like the subway. There are so many people that ride it that just need some help.
On Friday my friend, Steffany was celebrating her birthday, so for dinner ten of us went to this Dominican restaurant in Washington Heights. On our way back we encountered some trouble on the subway. One guy, about 35 maybe 40, started hitting on my friend and she just giggled and acted aloof. Another guy, who was also around the same age, started starring at Steffany, and she called him out on it and said, “Can I help you?”
And he replied with “Oh you think you’re so special because you got flowers.” At this point we got one of the guys in our group, Charles, to switch places with Steffany, and the guy that was hitting on her started cursing at him.
Charles said “Listen I don’t want an argument, I don’t want a fight, just leave her alone.”
And the guy continued to throw curses back at him saying, “Fuck you. Go back to your bitch.” Charles went over to Steffany and the guy started saying shit about her, and that was when I got pissed.
I said to him, “Don’t be talking shit about my friends.” He started cursing at me, but thankfully our stop was the next one so we all got off. And then he realized that there were ten of us in the group.



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life

so i didn't post yesterday because it was strawberry fest. which was fun fyi. and ill update you all later. finals are kicking my ass and i wanna fuck butt guy what's new?


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today

so today i asked my best friend here, Alec, who i don't think i have mentioned, to help me and my situation. and i have to say, he is crazy. he gave me two options, asking butt guy to coffee or just straight up asking him if he wants to fuck, because Alec knows i just want to fuck him once. and option one, im too much of a pussy to do that. like seriously, im not like that with anyone except a person i like. and option two, if i can't do option one how the hell am i gonna do option two. i really want to ask him to coffee when we are both studying and need a break, but i don't know if i have enough balls to do that.
then, in chemistry when i told Rebecca about what Alec said she just laughed and asked me if i was gonna do any of them. i told her im too much of a pussy. and Craig and this other kid Kevin were also there and Craig called me a guy, which i know i am because i just want to fuck this guy once and how much i curse and many other things i do.
so life is just not floating my boat right now, because i also have finals to deal with.


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help me! please

so today i have decided that i need help. like major help. more like major major major fucking help. like i think all of my psych major friends, which by the way im prob majoring in too, need to get together and then help my fucking ass. like what im going through right now is not at all me. at all. im fucking in love with a guy i barely know. yes he's totally my type, but damn i can't be dealing with this right now. and i generally fall for personality, and i have talked to him enough to know what he's like, and that just makes him soooooo much more fucking attractive. like seriously. he's the "bad boy" type, which i love.
yesterday when i texted Rebecca and said that he's that type she responded with "ohhh you mean the ones that you should be staying away fromm......????!" and obviously i responded with "stfuuuuuu im in loveee i go for what im attracted too and thats him" and what did she say? "wellllll that sounds like a disaster in the making hah" and you know im not at all denying that. it is. whenever there's a "bad boy" type involved it's most likely a disaster in the making. which is probably another reason why i have yet to have a long term relationship. i always fall for them and then it get messy and then we're both like damn we fucked up and then we become friends. we never go back out again, because i believe once it's over it's over. i don't see a point in trying again, unless it's like some serious love.
anyway. im in love, and im not sure how to either get him or get over him.



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OMG

and i know his name..no im not gonna put it on here. im not that stupid. and his butt is really not that big. it is just that his designer jeans are sooo fucking fitted that they make it look big. i mean its not flat but its not like it's huge or anything. anyway im im love.


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work

so this weekend, i was in Chicago, and i didn't do any homework. and i have finals coming up...like in a week. i have sooo much work to do it's not even funny. today Rebecca and I made a plan of what we're gonna do every day. we are in chemistry together and we study together...that was a weird sentence...two togethers...anyway. i have a pretty detailed schedule for the rest of the semester. it's intense. and ill be spending lots of time in the library, so hopefully ill get to see butt guy. so till May 7th my posts will probably be pretty short, because i have one 10 page essay, five 2 page essays, and lots of other studying to do. and for the rest of you who are also in the same boat as me, good luck!



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indian people

and sunday.

so the wedding was fun and the reception was even funner. there weren't any drinks or anything and still it was mad fun. i danced way too much. i never thought that there was such a thing. but apparently there is. today my feet hurt like hell. maybe even worse. like seriously this should not be possible. dancing is soooooo fun and i fucking love that shit. but i guess there's a limit for everything. so yeah. anyway. mad funnn. so i realized after this party that i need more indian friends. and i don't like most indian people so that's a bit of an issue. but the reason why i need more is because seriously, we throw the best fucking parties ever. and i love parties. and i love to party. and i love to dance. it is pretty impossible to have an indian party without music. so yeah. i need more indian friends.


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shopping

this is for saturday:

so last night was this party. and i performed and it was fun. what i didn't like was sleeping at three and waking up at seven. that was not chill. i was very upset. and then today i went shopping. i got a Coach bag, and shoes from Aldo, and some other stuff. it was fun in the sun. and later today is the wedding and reception. those should be....entertaining to say the least.



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packing

this is for friday:

so thursday night i went to this banquet thing and then after that i went to 52nd street with some friends. by the time we got back it was like one. then my lab partner needed some stuff for the lab we have to turn in tomorrow so he came at 130. then i had to pack for this wedding i had to go to, which was in Chicago. and i hate packing. by the time i finished it was 230. i was waking up at four to get ready so i didn't sleep at all.


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Subway

this is something that i wrote for my writing class, which sadly happens to be true.

Today I had a very unpleasant experience on the subway, while on my way back from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I was sitting on a seat and this woman sat on me. Literally, she sat on me. I’m a relatively small person, and she was quite large. I yelled “Excuse You!” and she merely moved over to the seat next to me, acting like nothing happened. My stop was the next one, so I stood up. And she purposefully dropped her Coach bag on my feet.
When the doors opened, I kicked it on to the platform. She yelled, “Motherfucker!” I turned around and said, “Sucks to be you.”



☮ hope ♥

my day today

so today i woke up at 6, because for some reason my body thinks that six hours of sleep is the perfect amount for me. i beg to differ, but that's not quite the point. anyway. so at 6 i was like damn i can still sleep another hour or two. so i went back to bed, and i woke up at 7. i was hoping for a little later, but ill take what i can get. right? anyhow. i was meeting Rebecca up at Starbucks, to go over lab. and while we were there guess who popped up in the window?? butt guy obviously. he was smoking a cigarette and then walked in. and damn he's so gorgeous. Rebecca felt the need to make fun of me because im sooo fucking obsessed with him. and the sad thing is, he's a senior. chances are im not gonna see much of him after the next few weeks. and the saddest thing is i still don't know his fucking name. but i told myself, the next time i talk to him, which today i didn't, i will ask his name. so then i thought today would be a good day. NOT! in lab i felt like i was dying. my left knee was killing the shit outta me. and then when i went to the health center, after sitting around for an hour and a half, they told me i have tendinitis. isn't that lovely? not really but whatever. anyway. then i had my meeting with my adviser and i love that guy. we talked for forever, about random shit and important shit. and then i went to my writing class, and then somehow i was able to make it to the MET after my class ending early at 430. how idk. i just think im lucky.



☮ hope ♥