today

first thing first: last night should not have happened, especially since i had to be at work at 10:30.
secondly: i am pissed as fuck at fucking Brian.
third: i feel like i am about to die.

last night as you all know i went to a party. and as all of you know i tend to drink a lot when i drink. id say i had about ten drinks in all, a few poppers, a few rum screwdrivers, and lots of vodka. and as a result drunk Priya was out and about. my friend's ipod was on shuffle and this song "Hey" by Lil Jon and 3OH!3 came on. the first time around only a select few had heard it. and we ALL loved it so much that we decided we HAD to replay it. at one point in the song Lil Jon goes, "SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT!" and there were about forty of us at this party and when that part came on, someone came up with the fabulous idea to take four shots at that part. now no where near did we have 160 shot glasses. so SOLO CUPS. in one cup there were four shots so you could just drink four times when the "SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOT" part came on. since we were short on time, the song is only 3:45 minutes long, and we had to make forty drinks in that time i wasn't the only one mixing drinks. so one of my friends, who was making my drink decided that instead of giving me four shots to give me six. and i had already had two drinks, so more alcohol in me was really really really not needed. anyhow drunk Priya= whore Priya. although last night i was more of a make-out whore than anything else. so i stayed over at my friends house and for some reason after going to bed at four i woke up at fucking six!! and i only got fucking two fucking hours of fucking sleep. and Brian, Rebecca, and my friend's ex-boyfriend were all in my dream. it was really weird because i don't talk to the ex-boyfriend at all. like we're facebook friends and such but we never talk. i haven't talked to him in a good year and a half. at least. so i went home and then drank LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of water to get rid of that awful hangover, which worked. and then i went to the gym for a bit. normally hungover people shouldn't work out, but for me somehow it helps me get back to normal. i have no clue why that is, but it works for me so i put it to use. and then i went to work and then the mall with my mom.

Brian fucking William fucking Beisel. i am sooo fucking pissed off at him it's not even fucking funny. yesterday we were supposed to hang out and i woke up at noon, because i was hungover, although not too badly, to text him to see what time we were gonna hang, and he said he had to do something but after that. and then i told him to call me an hour before so i could get ready and stuff because i was going back to sleep. the fucker never called or texted me back and we did not hang out yesterday. i know why this is making me soo mad even though it shouldn't. i mean it's really not that big of a deal, but he should have had the decency to call or text me and say "hey i can't hang out today" or something along those lines. anyhow. im really really mad at him. i wish i wasn't so mad about it.

so i have my calculus final this week. and it is gonna kill me. like seriously. i don't get what we did last class. but i did something a little different to get the right answers to the homework. which is okay, unless she asks us to do it the certain way, which i don't get. but other than that i get it so far. but i still feel like it is going to kick my ass. first because i get test anxiety. and second because i don't want to ask Brian for help because i am soo fucking mad at him. but if i need it i'll probably just get over myself and ask him. anyway. im really freaking out about this final because i need to get an A. yes i did fine on the midterm, but the final is more about the stuff after the midterm than before. i mean i still need to know the stuff from before the midterm, but it's gonna be more about the stuff after. so i really really really need to concentrate. and not party monday, tuesday, and wednesday night. tonight i might i might not. im not quite sure how im feeling about it right now.



☮ hope ♥

almost done

im getting really fucking freaked out. this morning i woke up at five because of a dream i had. Brian fucking died in my fucking dream. goddamnit. what the fuck is going on?!?!?! like seriously?!?!?! he fucking died. what does that fucking mean? i bet it has something with what im trying to do for him but im not sure. actually im pretty sure it does. but why am i having dreams where he is fucking dying?? that is fucking ridiculous. i can't deal with this anymore.
oh and on top of all this shit, i have fucking calculus to fucking deal with. i really want an A in the class, and as of right now even if i get a 50% on the final ill end up with a B- in the class, which is not what i want. but still it's nice to know that i have something going for me. but i really need to do well on the final. because i really really really want an A. like that was my goal. and i am determined to keep it.
that's pretty much my life right now. kinda boring but it's better than it being bad, right?


☮ hope ♥

life

today's post is not being sent from where it normally is, that being my house. right now im at a friend's house. and if i can give you one good piece of advice, never ever ever (i can't stress the "ever" enough) let your friends make you a drink when you don't know what is in it. right now im not talking about what my friends did to me, but rather what i did to one of my friends. hehe =]. he still loves me =].
anyhow. im not sure what's been going on with me lately, but whatever it is, it really needs to fucking stop. i still have not had a decent night of sleep in forever. and it's kinda really beginning to freak me out. i keep having the first dream i did with Brian. and now im getting used to depressed Brian, which is not like him in actuality at all! and i just wish i knew what the fuck is fucking going on because this is beyond fucking ridiculousness.
in other news, i feel like everything that happened when i was 17 is coming back to haunt me now. i had a strange dream last night and James was in it. he was the one who "drunk texted" the motherfucker to get some answers. and i told him to never talk to her again but i feel like he will. im not sure why. i know he hates her, as do all of my friends who know this story, but i hope he just doesn't talk to her ever again. it's too much to deal with. it has been nearly two years and still it fucking bothers me to this day. i know most of you who read this don't know what im talking about. and that's because only five people know about this story. and i can't write it out on here because it just makes me sick to my stomach. and i need to be way way way way way drunk and not only drunk but a sad drunk to tell this story. and im never a sad drunk, unless im sad and then i start drinking. so those of you who want to hear this story will have to see me to hear it.
also today i saw Courtney and we went to Tutti Frutti. then we went back to her house and watched Wimbledon. we were watching the Isner versus Mahut match, which STILL has not finished. it's gone on for over nine fucking hours, and is doing some major major major record setting. anyway that's all for now.


☮ hope ♥

more about my life

so today i woke up at one, which i guess does make sense since i slept at six. i watched a one and a half seasons of Friends, and it was soooo fucking worth it. i love that show. it's probably the greatest show out there. so i think im gonna be up all night again watching Friends. and you know i thought that once i got home id be getting lots of sleep. but that really has not been the case. which might be a good thing, considering i have a summer class starting in a bit, but id really like to get some extra sleep. for the past few weeks it seems like i have forgotten what sleep is. but that's preparing me for med school right? well that's the way im looking at it.
in other news Brian is home next week, and his fucking redbulls are waiting for him. im not sure if i mentioned this but during finals week at NYU i got like three redbulls, and then i collected others throughout the second semester because my new year's resolution was to give up all energy drinks (this was not proposed by me, but by fucking Brian). and i've kept it up so far and id like to see how long i can go. it's been over five months which is a big deal for me. i used to drink three of the big redbulls, two frappuccinos, and three coffees everyday. but now it's just lots of coffee and an occasional frappuccino. well it's more like way way way tooo much coffee, but the way i see it is: coffee is better than redbull. and you know what the funny thing is, i don't drink coffee to stay awake. one because it doesn't work, and two because well it just really doesn't work. i drink it because im addicted to caffeine.



☮ hope ♥

library

so today, just like every sunday, i had a shit load of work to do. and i didn't go to bed until literally five in the morning. so i was really fucking tired. anyway, i didn't wake up till one, which isn't too bad considering i went to bed at five. eight hours. that's a lot for me. i need three to be functional, but my ideal is six. so after i showered and ate i texted my friend, Rebecca, and asked her if we had chemistry homework and she said she did and that she was going to the library to do it. the homework should have taken maybe an hour or an hour and a half. but we were there till about eight. and all i got done was chemistry homework, some writing homework, and eating pinkberry.
at fiveish some of our friends were ordering pinkberry. and i was like i don't want any because i need to go to the gym and if i eat now i can't go till seven. but Rebecca wanted it and deep down inside i wanted it too. so then me and her went over to pinkberry and got our fro-yo. it was my first time getting it, and damn that was some good shit. it was like pure deliciousness. i got it with mochi, strawberries, and cookies and cream. so good. i can't believe i didn't know about it before. but i guess that's okay, because i know about it now. and im sure im going to become obsessed with it.



☮ hope ♥