today

so today i asked my best friend here, Alec, who i don't think i have mentioned, to help me and my situation. and i have to say, he is crazy. he gave me two options, asking butt guy to coffee or just straight up asking him if he wants to fuck, because Alec knows i just want to fuck him once. and option one, im too much of a pussy to do that. like seriously, im not like that with anyone except a person i like. and option two, if i can't do option one how the hell am i gonna do option two. i really want to ask him to coffee when we are both studying and need a break, but i don't know if i have enough balls to do that.
then, in chemistry when i told Rebecca about what Alec said she just laughed and asked me if i was gonna do any of them. i told her im too much of a pussy. and Craig and this other kid Kevin were also there and Craig called me a guy, which i know i am because i just want to fuck this guy once and how much i curse and many other things i do.
so life is just not floating my boat right now, because i also have finals to deal with.


☮ hope ♥

turns out im not mad

so today my recitation for chemistry got out way early because we didn't have any homework due nor did we have a quiz. the class starts at like two and we were out at 230-ish. anyway. so i walked back to my dorm to put my chemistry stuff away with my friend Craig. he told me to let him know when i was leaving and i said im leaving in a few minutes because i wanna get Starbucks, and he was like nevermind i have to eat. so i was like okay. and i didn't really feel like walking back just then so i thought id check my email. but then! Rebecca texted me, by the way im now calling her Rebz, and she was like "omgomgomgomgomgomgomg your bfannn is in bobst with me" and obviously i was like "omggg im cominggggg!!!" and i was sooooo happy she told me. and im beginning to think he's gay =[. i hope fucking not because damn id tap that shitttttt. and he's soooo fucking hot and listens to good music and has a great ass and dresses well, which yes is rare. but maybe i found one of the rare ones. i really hope so. anyway. back to the library. so when he left i left too and we got into the elevator together, and yes i did talk to him. and i forgot to ask his name again =[. but im glad Rebecca told me, because that my day =].



☮ hope ♥

thanks

yesterday, i was having issues with doing the pre-lab for my chemistry lab that was today. so i texted my friend, Craig, to see if he had done it and he hadn't. so he was like come over in half an hour, which i did. when i was in his room something on his desk caught my attention. it was a letter from his best friend; in one short word it was a thanks. a thanks for everything he did for her, how he helped her through the good, the bad and the ugly, how much he means to her, how much she loves him, and how great full she is for him to be in her life. it showed how much love someone can have for another without being in love, which we really need a lot more of in this world.
this letter was probably one of the two nicest things i have ever seen somebody write. the other being what this girl, Jordan, wrote for her eulogy when her best friend, Steve, one of my friends, past away. people, whenever you have something to say to someone just say it. please. you never know when it just might be too late, which in Jordan's case it was. if there's something you need to say don't wait, you never know what turns life might bring about.
back to his letter. when i read it i was almost put to tears. very rarely does someone receive something this meaningful. im glad i had the opportunity to read the letter Craig received. when i told him that's one of the sweetest things id ever read, he said "yeah isn't it? but im over it now." how anyone simply gets over something like that is beyond me.



☮ hope ♥