today

so today i asked my best friend here, Alec, who i don't think i have mentioned, to help me and my situation. and i have to say, he is crazy. he gave me two options, asking butt guy to coffee or just straight up asking him if he wants to fuck, because Alec knows i just want to fuck him once. and option one, im too much of a pussy to do that. like seriously, im not like that with anyone except a person i like. and option two, if i can't do option one how the hell am i gonna do option two. i really want to ask him to coffee when we are both studying and need a break, but i don't know if i have enough balls to do that.
then, in chemistry when i told Rebecca about what Alec said she just laughed and asked me if i was gonna do any of them. i told her im too much of a pussy. and Craig and this other kid Kevin were also there and Craig called me a guy, which i know i am because i just want to fuck this guy once and how much i curse and many other things i do.
so life is just not floating my boat right now, because i also have finals to deal with.


☮ hope ♥

help me! please

so today i have decided that i need help. like major help. more like major major major fucking help. like i think all of my psych major friends, which by the way im prob majoring in too, need to get together and then help my fucking ass. like what im going through right now is not at all me. at all. im fucking in love with a guy i barely know. yes he's totally my type, but damn i can't be dealing with this right now. and i generally fall for personality, and i have talked to him enough to know what he's like, and that just makes him soooooo much more fucking attractive. like seriously. he's the "bad boy" type, which i love.
yesterday when i texted Rebecca and said that he's that type she responded with "ohhh you mean the ones that you should be staying away fromm......????!" and obviously i responded with "stfuuuuuu im in loveee i go for what im attracted too and thats him" and what did she say? "wellllll that sounds like a disaster in the making hah" and you know im not at all denying that. it is. whenever there's a "bad boy" type involved it's most likely a disaster in the making. which is probably another reason why i have yet to have a long term relationship. i always fall for them and then it get messy and then we're both like damn we fucked up and then we become friends. we never go back out again, because i believe once it's over it's over. i don't see a point in trying again, unless it's like some serious love.
anyway. im in love, and im not sure how to either get him or get over him.



☮ hope ♥

OMG

and i know his name..no im not gonna put it on here. im not that stupid. and his butt is really not that big. it is just that his designer jeans are sooo fucking fitted that they make it look big. i mean its not flat but its not like it's huge or anything. anyway im im love.


☮ hope ♥

work

so this weekend, i was in Chicago, and i didn't do any homework. and i have finals coming up...like in a week. i have sooo much work to do it's not even funny. today Rebecca and I made a plan of what we're gonna do every day. we are in chemistry together and we study together...that was a weird sentence...two togethers...anyway. i have a pretty detailed schedule for the rest of the semester. it's intense. and ill be spending lots of time in the library, so hopefully ill get to see butt guy. so till May 7th my posts will probably be pretty short, because i have one 10 page essay, five 2 page essays, and lots of other studying to do. and for the rest of you who are also in the same boat as me, good luck!



☮ hope ♥

indian people

and sunday.

so the wedding was fun and the reception was even funner. there weren't any drinks or anything and still it was mad fun. i danced way too much. i never thought that there was such a thing. but apparently there is. today my feet hurt like hell. maybe even worse. like seriously this should not be possible. dancing is soooooo fun and i fucking love that shit. but i guess there's a limit for everything. so yeah. anyway. mad funnn. so i realized after this party that i need more indian friends. and i don't like most indian people so that's a bit of an issue. but the reason why i need more is because seriously, we throw the best fucking parties ever. and i love parties. and i love to party. and i love to dance. it is pretty impossible to have an indian party without music. so yeah. i need more indian friends.


☮ hope ♥

shopping

this is for saturday:

so last night was this party. and i performed and it was fun. what i didn't like was sleeping at three and waking up at seven. that was not chill. i was very upset. and then today i went shopping. i got a Coach bag, and shoes from Aldo, and some other stuff. it was fun in the sun. and later today is the wedding and reception. those should be....entertaining to say the least.



☮ hope ♥

packing

this is for friday:

so thursday night i went to this banquet thing and then after that i went to 52nd street with some friends. by the time we got back it was like one. then my lab partner needed some stuff for the lab we have to turn in tomorrow so he came at 130. then i had to pack for this wedding i had to go to, which was in Chicago. and i hate packing. by the time i finished it was 230. i was waking up at four to get ready so i didn't sleep at all.


☮ hope ♥